Out of Control
by One Strange Onion
Summary: <html><head></head>Shikamaru has been in love with Ino for 10 years, but he's never told her. Now a new rival stands in his way! Can Shikamaru overcome the odds (and the ultimate friendzone) and win Ino's heart? AU/AR. Rated T for language and actions. Eventual ShikaIno, with other pairings. See AN for more details.</html>
1. Chapter 1

AN: Hey there, folks! This is my first attempt at a fanfic. It's an idea I've been thinking about for a while, but never really felt motivated to actually type out. As luck would have it, I ended up having to write a story for my English 101 class (hi, Mr. Rich!), so I wrote out this one. I had my writer friend ACDCxCarmine (shameless plug for his story) look over it, and he thought it was a good plot, so I figured I'd upload it in chapters.

This story will eventually be ShikaIno, but not for a long time. For now, it's one-sided ShikaIno, some SaiIno, one-sided SasuSaku, and one-sided NaruSaku (going for an unrequited love theme here). Hope you enjoy!

EDIT: All the wrong names *should* be gone now, thank you to those of you who let me know. ^_^;

* * *

><p>[CHAPTER 1]<p>

There she stands. Her. The object of my deepest desires: Ino. Her mother named her after the human form of the Greek goddess Leucothea, "The White Goddess;" this Ino was a queen in her own right. Ino the Queen was a Maenad, and tried to have her two stepchildren killed, as Maenads are wont to do. Both were rescued by a flying golden ram sent by their cloud nymph mother, Nephele, but one fell off the magic ram and died, anyway. The other one got to marry a princess. My Ino doesn't like kids much, but I'd like to believe she wouldn't go so far as to try to kill one. Ino the Queen later got chased into the sea with her son by her own husband, who was struck by insanity – who would have guessed? – and became a goddess of the sea, Leucothea.

I once made a joke that my Ino should never have kids; the black eye she gave me lasted for weeks.

My Ino's not crazy, but she's definitely a goddess: soft, creamy skin that covers long, lithe limbs and an hourglass, 5'7" figure. Her hair is naturally blonde, so light that it's nearly white, and it hangs down to her mid-back, even though she keeps it in a high ponytail. I once looked for her hair color in a retail store – pure diamond blonde. It goes well with her electric blue eyes. When she's mad, I swear I can see sparks fly from them; when she's happy, they light up my world.

I shouldn't talk like this. We've known each other practically our whole lives; our parents were best friends all through elementary, middle, and high school. They were also friends with my best friend, Chouji's parents. All three couples decided to move on the same street: Ino's and mine side-by-side, Chouji's across the street and down the way a bit. Ino's and my parents used to joke that we'd get married one day, and that Chouji would be best man. The last time her mom mentioned it, Ino laughed in her face.

_"Me? Marry Shika? Please, he's like my kid brother!"_

_"But I'm older than you," I protest._

_"By like one day. I'm totally more mature than you. That's why you get to be the kid brother. You should be happy to have such a beautiful, amazing young woman as your older sister."_

_"You're 16. That hardly qualifies as being a woman."_

_"SHUT UP, SHIKAMARU!"_

_"Yes, your Highness."_

_"UGH!" Ino storms out of the room._

She hasn't talked to me since then. That was four months ago; four long months of her giving me the silent treatment, four months of her avoiding me at all costs, four months of only catching the occasional glimpse of her pale ponytail wisping around a corner or feeling her charged stare from across the lunch room (though, when I turn around, she's never looking). I wish I had the strength to tell her I'm sorry; that when I call her "your Highness," I really mean she's the queen of my world; that her voice, which coming from any other girl would sound like the world's most annoying Valley Girl, coming from her resonates through the very chambers of my heart. I've loved her since we were 6, and yet I've never told her. Dating your parents' best friends' daughter? It would be too troublesome.

And suddenly, there she is, right in front of my face, brushing her slender fingers through platinum locks and leaning against my locker. Her hair is down today; I prefer the ponytail. She's talking to Chouji about some party or another that she and her strawberry-blonde rival/bestie, Sakura, are going to.

"You should come too, Shikamaru."

I blink owlishly, drawn from my thoughts of blonde goddesses and their slightly annoying, less attractive friends. "What?"

"Honestly, Shika, this is why I'm the 'big' sister. Are you coming to the party or not?"

I briefly weigh the pros of hanging out with Ino again against the huge con of socializing with other humans. "Hmm… Nah. Too troublesome."

"You say that about everything!" she chides. "Chouji, don't let him be a stick in the mud tonight. Bring him to the party!"

"I can try, but you know Shika. He doesn't do 'movement,'" Chouji jokes, pulling a bag of chips out of his locker. Chouji's a big man: 6'2" and built like a football player, with shaggy, nut-brown hair that rivals even Ino's impressive lengthiness. Despite his size, he's a big pacifist, always looking to diffuse the situation with a joke or a wise intonation.

"Hey," I object. "I move plenty. I'm here, aren't I?"

"Only because your mom would have chewed you out otherwise."

"She's such a drag. Last night—"

"Enough!" Ino snaps, turning the heads of some of the other students passing by. A few of the guys' stares linger a little too long for my comfort, and I move to block her from their view. "Look, guys, I just wanted to invite you—"

"Ino, you really should think about wearing longer skirts," I cut in. "This school is full of vultures. A girl like you shouldn't show herself off so much."

"O-ho, my skirt is too short, is it?" Ino twirls around in her mid-calf, navy blue uniform skirt and white blouse, giggling. "Perfect. Maybe Sai will notice me."

As if on cue, Sai turns the corner down the hall. A Chinese transfer student and upperclassman that happens to excel at art and yet manages to have the barest of personalities, Sai has had legions of girls throwing themselves at his feet. Most of them immediately turn away after he gives them one of his special "nicknames" – he calls Sakura "Ugly," for example, and is beaten by her daily for it – but Ino is convinced that he's using his weird behavior as a cover for his deep, vulnerable side that only she can bring out. I told her the only thing he's hiding is his sexual preference, and not very well.

I got a cracked rib for that one.

"Sa~ai!" Ino coos, fluttering her eyelashes so hard that I can almost – almost – feel a breeze kicking up. "Are you coming to the party at Sakura's tonight?"

"Ugly is having a party?" Sai queries pleasantly, a painted smile appearing on his too-pale face. "Well, I'll be there if you're there… Beautiful."

Ino blushes at the newfound nickname while Chouji and I try our best to keep our lunches down. Sai is just one of those people that rub you the wrong way. His skin is too pale, even for his nationality. It's like he's been living his entire life in a cave and decided to come out to experience life as a junior high school student. He always has a fake smile on, like a used car salesman trying to sell you a car with no engine. He dresses like a monochromatic extra for the Village People: all half-shirts and skintight pants. How he gets it past the uniform code at our school, I don't know.

I tune out the rest of their conversation; something about the party. I really don't want to go, but if "Sa~ai" is going, then I'll have to go to protect her.

After all, that's what little brothers do.

* * *

><p>[OMAKE]<p>

Strange: So that's the first chapter, folks! Hope you enjoyed it!

Shika: Why Ino? She's so… troublesome.

Strange: Because [SPOILERS ABOUT FUTURE CHAPTERS], duh.

Shika: Ohhh… When do we get to that?

Strange: Soon, my child… Soon…

Shika: *Backs away slowly*


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Just a note on punctuation

"Speaking" (obviously)

*Thoughts*(also movement in omakes)

_Flashbacks and emphasis_

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><p>[Chapter 2]<p>

The rest of the day passes by uneventfully. I'm in all AP classes, but even those are boring for me. People accuse me of being too lazy; the truth is nothing here really challenges me. I sleep my way through my remaining classes and wake up as the final bell rings. I duck out the back door to avoid a scolding from Mr. Umino, the AP Spanish teacher, shove my hands in my pockets, and head to my locker.

"You're going to ruin your posture like that." Sasuke stands by my locker. Like me, he is Japanese, but whereas I look like any standard Asian teenage boy with medium-length, brown hair in a spiky ponytail, Sasuke looks like he walked straight out of an American Eagle ad. He is almost as milky white as Sai (seriously, what's up with pretty boys and albinism?), with blue-black hair that hangs in low bangs in the front, but is short and curls upwards in the back. He stands at an impressive 5'10; if I weren't always hunched over, I might reach 5'9" on my best day. He's also apparently fluent in Japanese, French, English, and German. Both Ino and Sakura were obsessed with him in middle school, so I got to hear all the "wonderful" details about him. What's worse is he's been in all my AP classes since then, so they would come to me for more information. Troublesome girls.

"It's too much work to hold my posture upright," I complain. "It's so much easier just to slouch." I shove my bookbag in my locker and shut it. I did all my homework at lunch. "What do you want?"

"We wanted to see if you were going to the party tonight!" Naruto's mop of vivid yellow hair pops up from behind Sasuke's right shoulder. Naruto's a 5'8", hyperactive blond with the same charged blue eyes as Ino. I once asked him if he came from the same part of Europe as Ino's father, but all he would really say on the matter was that he didn't know his parents, that he had lived with his godfather since he was about 12. Naruto isn't usually cryptic about anything, so I dropped the subject fast and never asked again.

"Jeez, is everyone going to that party?" I sigh.

"Only the cool people," Sasuke sneers. "And Naruto. He's like a tumor in my side; I can't get rid of him without surgery." It was true. Where Sasuke went, Naruto went. It had been that way ever since the Summer before Freshman year; nobody knows exactly what happened that Summer, but rumor had it they had saved each other from some kind of street gang. The truth is probably much simpler, but it'd take too much work to get Sasuke to talk, and he's probably told Naruto never to speak on it.

"Yeah, the _cool_ people—HEY! I am not a tumor! You're the tumor! A tumor in my ass! Yeah, and I'll need surgery to remove you!"

"You'll need to remove your head first."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Naruto explodes.

"Hey, guys, I'll see you later," I cut in before slinking away. They continue trading insults, completely ignoring me. Other students mill around the duo, completely used to Naruto's shouts and Sasuke's crude replies.

"Those two at it again?" Chouji asks, coming out of a classroom.

"Yep. Sasuke called him a tumor this time. I don't understand how those two function."

"Me either, bro… So, about that party…"

"Not you, too," I groan. "Look, if it'll make you happy, I'll go. Okay?"

"It's not that," Chouji mutters, looking down. "I just… think tonight might be a good night for you to maybe tell her, y'know?"

I stare at him in open-mouthed terror. Chouji had guessed about my impossible crush back when we were 8 and he caught me brushing my fingers through her hair as she napped on my lap one afternoon at the lake. "No."

"Dude, why not? If you don't make a move soon, that creep Sai will."

"I _cannot_ tell Ino—"

"Tell me what?"

My blood freezes in my veins as I turn to face the very object of my desires. She stands there, once again, this time with a confused look on her face. I plaster a smile worthy of Sai on my face and try to get my heart pumping again. "Ino, _hi_. I… I didn't want to tell you, but… I'm… going to the party tonight?" I squeak out.

She squeals. Actually squeals. "EEEEE! I'm so glad you're coming! Sakura needs a date, and you'd be perfect for her!" She leans in closely and winks suggestively. "You might even be able to get Sasuke jealous."

"Wait—"I sputter.

"I've got to go tell Sakura! Be at my house at 7! See you tonight!" she calls as she runs down the hallway.

"But… I don't like her…"I mutter. *It's you I want…*

Chouji tsks and pats my shoulder. "At least you know Sakura's not interested in you."

I shrug myself away from his grip and start walking down the hall. "Gee, thanks."

* * *

><p>[OMAKE]<p>

Strange: Another chapter done! A short one, but we're moving it along. Party party next chapter!

Shika: You make me sound antisocial.

Strange: Only a little. o=D

Naruto: Why does Sasuke-teme have to be such a bastard to me? Can't I catch one break in one fanfic?

Strange: How did you escape the chains? GET BACK IN THE CLOSET!

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	3. Chapter 3

I check myself over in the mirror. *Gray "Save Ferris" tee: check. Faded black jeans: check. All-black high tops: check. Hair down…* I hesitate before brushing it back into its usual spiky ponytail. Not that it doesn't look good down; it's just too troublesome for me to keep brushing it out of my face.

I sigh. Normally, I wouldn't bother so much, but since I have to escort Sakura (per Ino's orders), I feel like I at least have to look like I made some effort. I peel off the t-shirt, leaving me in only my white tank, and grab a blue plaid button-up from the pile of clean clothes on my floor. Mom always complains about the way I organize my clothes – "If they're clean, you should fold them and put them away or hang them up in your closet." She doesn't understand that it's easier if I just let them get a little wrinkly ahead of time.

I button the shirt up, then unbutton it again. I don't want to look too eager, after all.

I check the clock: 6:57. *Close enough.* I head down the stairs and out the door before Mom can nag at me. Luckily for me, she's already too busy yelling at Dad for something he forgot to do – probably taking out the trash or something. I shuffle over to Ino's house: a light gray, 3-bedroom home with an indoor garage and a huge greenhouse in back. Her parents run the local flower shop, and also grow organic food for the weekly Farmer's Market. I knock on the dark gray door and wait, shoulders hunched.

"I'll get it!" I hear Ino's muffled shout from the other side of the door just before it opens. She pops her head out of the crack and appraises me before speaking. "Well, look at you, here early. Would it have killed you to button your shirt, though?"

She opens the door fully before pulling me in and slamming it shut. As she buttons my shirt, I can't help but notice she smells like strawberries and fresh earth. *She must have been in the garden…*

She finishes buttoning and steps back to appraise her work. "Hmm…" She snatches out my hair tie and pulls the top half back into a smaller ponytail, leaving small wisps in the front out. "Perfect!" She says, clasping her hands together.

I roll my eyes. "Thanks, mo-" My words are cut short at the sight in front of me: silvery-blonde ringlets falling past bare shoulders; a simple white belly shirt exposing pale, toned abs; purple chachi pants that wrap her shins, but sag at the top. The bangs that usually hang over her right eye are pinned back, giving a full view of her magnetic gaze. In a word: stunning.

Said eyes roll in annoyance. "Whatever, just come this way." She moves away from me and walks through the foyer towards the living room. I am momentarily surprised that she would choose to cover her legs before realizing she must have dancing in mind; she's a big "Just Dance" fan, after all. I shrug my shoulders and slump after her.

As I coast into the living room, I look around. Not much has changed: the ceilings are still high, the pale tea green walls are still covered with photos of friends and family – *Really, Mrs. Yamanaka, there's a limit to how many photos you can have on a wall before it becomes a fire hazard* – and various floral arrangements sit in beige porcelain vases on dark oak tables placed around the room. Yep, nothing new here…

Except…

Sitting on the tan chenille sofa is Sakura, wearing a red floral cheongsam…

And pink hair.

I fight to keep my composure. "Hello, Sakura. You look …" *Pink? Rosy? …Like Princess Bubblegum attacked your hair?* "…very nice in that dress. Is that Mandarin?"

Absinthe eyes full of tears lock onto mine. "Do you really like it?" she sniffles. "I picked it out for Aedan, since he's Japanese. I thought it might help remind him of home." She dabs at her eyes, then smiles shyly.

*I probably shouldn't mention that it's a Chinese dress, then…* "Good for you, then. I think red is his favorite color, too. The pink is a nice touch, too—OUCH!" I rub the sore spot on my arm and scowl at Ino, who stares back innocently.

"I KNEW IT LOOKED STUPID!" Sakura bursts into tears. "The salon lady -sniff- said it would be -hic- red highlights, but -sob- she messed uuuuuu…" she trails off into a keening wail and flops onto the couch.

Ino glares at me and rushes to console her. I take this as my cue to leave and exit through the foyer out the front door. As I close the door, I hear Mrs. Yamanaka rush down the stairs into the living room. "Cherry, honey, what's wrong?"

I sigh. Dealing with Sakura is one of the many reasons I can't be with Ino. I shove my hands in my pockets and trudge down the walkway. *I wonder if Chouji's ready yet…*

* * *

><p>[OMAKE]<p>

Strange: I lied. Party's not for another maybe two chapters.

Shika: You shouldn't make promises before you write the chapters.

Strange: And you shouldn't have mentioned the hair color.

Shika: It's against my ninja way to ignore such things.

*Pounding sounds and muffled screams from closet*

***TO BE CONTINUED***


	4. Chapter 4

"Pink?" Chouji asks again, wincing. "Like… pink all over, or splotches?"

"Think Nicki Minaj in that stupid video, 'Stupid Hoe.'"

He pulls a #31 Ravens jersey over his black undershirt and sighs again. "Well… Naruto'll probably like it." He pats his jean pockets. "Wallet… car keys… I think I'm ready, man."

We walk out of his house and towards his car – a barn red, '03 Ford F150 XL. His parents had vowed to match him dollar for dollar on a car for his 16th birthday, and he raised $5,632.50 over a period of 2 years doing odd jobs around the neighborhood. Ironically, Old Man Teuchi happened to have a car with less than 73,000 miles on it sitting in his garage, and he gave it to Chouji for $1,500. Chouji put the rest of his money into repairing the car, but he kept its original color. Even now, it still only had 82,000 miles on it. He babied his car more than a mother babies… well, a baby.

We drive the short distance to Ino's house in silence. The girls are already waiting outside. As Sakura climbs into the back seat, Ino gives me a warning look. "Talk later," she mouths. I stifle a sigh. Even when I'm trying to be nice, I'm wrong. Females are so troublesome.

"Nice dress, Sakura," Chouji says politely. "I like the cherry blossom trees at the bottom. They really bring out your eyes." Leave it to Chouji to come up with a compliment in the worst situation.

"Really?" Sakura reddens, twirling strands of her bob-length, cotton candy colored hair around one finger. "I thought it might be too much… Do you think Sasuke will like it?"

I tune out the rest of the conversation, choosing instead to focus on the road ahead. As the houses and trees pass by at snail's pace – *Pretty sure you can go more than 5mph here, Chouji* – I turn my thoughts inward. Lately, Chouji had been pressuring me to tell Ino how I really feel about her. I wonder about that. Chouji usually has an innate sense for things like that; for instance, his car repairs came up to exactly $4,132.50, the exact amount he had left after paying Old Man Teuchi for his truck. Not to mention all the various times he happened to be in just the right place at the right time: the time he won 1,000th person to order an ice cream sundae at Denny's and got his picture on the wall, the time he tripped over his untied shoelace and knocked over a guy who had stolen an old lady's purse, that time when we were 9 and he guessed the correct amount of marbles in a glass jar and won a $500 gift certificate to Toys 'R' Us – and then used it to buy Christmas gifts for the local orphanage. The guy is a walking good luck charm. *Maybe he's right; maybe if I tell her, we can work this out and actually be something.*

"…And I told him, 'Back off, Ramen-Breath, he's not your boyfriend!" Sakura's voice tears through my subconscious like a lacerating blade. Once again, I curse the gods for not striking me deaf at birth. At some point, Sakura had begun talking about one of her many encounters with Sasuke – and subsequently, Naruto.

If anyone ever asked Sakura for a description of Naruto, they'd probably come away from the conversation thinking he was a brash midget idiot whose sole purpose in life was to protect Sasuke from his one true love (her). In reality, he's a brash, average height idiot who is madly in love with a girl who thinks more highly of dirt than him. I was actually there when this particular incident happened: he was trying to ask her out – yet again – and she'd recoiled from him as if he had Ebola and shoved him into the lockers with her bookbag.

I sink lower in my seat and try my best to tune her out for the rest of the ride to her house. Chouji looks over at me and smiles before driving slightly faster. We quickly reach the long, gravel road that leads to Sakura's house – a huge, 3-story French Manor with bow windows. So much ivy grew on the front of the house that I couldn't even tell what color it actually was. Chouji and I had never been here before, and our jaws drop in astonishment.

Ino leans forward between the two front seats. "Easy, boys," she hums as she uses one finger on each hand to shut our mouths. "Didn't you guys know Sakura's parents work for the Government?"

Chouji is the first one to snap to his senses. "So, do I just park anywhere, or…?"

"You can just leave it here in front," Sakura squeaks. *Apparently, she isn't too fond of showing off her wealth,* I think to myself. *That's one good thing about her. She's annoying enough without shoving money in our faces.*

Chouji and I exit the car and then pull the front seats forward so the girls can get out. I hear Chouji complimenting Sakura on her dress again and her giggling response. *Hmm… She actually isn't that bad when she's around Chouji.* I figure now might be a good time for me to compliment Ino.

"You should have worn a longer shirt." Apparently, my brain and mouth aren't on the same wavelength. "I mean…" *You look hot.* "…guys are going to get the wrong impression." She simply rolls her eyes and walks away. I mentally punch myself in the face. *Smooth…*

Sakura leads us around the side of the house to a set of stairs leading downwards to a red door. "It's easier to get to the den from here," she tells us. She totters down the high steps, clearly not used to the stilettos she had on, and stops at the door to pull out a red key on a chain around her neck. "Better than carrying the four keys for the front door," she says sheepishly. She opens the door…

… And paradise unfurls. The "den," as she put it, spans the entire length of the manor, it seems. To the right sat a fully stocked kitchen, complete with enough snacks to survive a zombie apocalypse. To the left, there was a huge sunken in area filled with beanbag chairs in front of a huge, wall-mounted plasma TV. Past that was a massive bookcase, stacked with DVDs, assorted by name and genre. A wall separated this from what appeared to be a dance floor, complete with a state-of-the-art speaker system. The back wall was lined with classic arcade machines: _Pac-Man, Frogger, Donkey Kong_…

"SHIKA, HE HAS _GORF_!" Chouji shouts from further down the line.

*Yes,* I thought. *I could die a happy man here.*

* * *

><p>[OMAKE]<p>

Strange: There's actually more to this scene, but it was getting long. *Rubs head sheepishly*

Shika: But… But _Gorf…_

Strange: I know, honey, I know. Here's a cookie.

Ino: Yoink!

***TO BE CONTINUED***


	5. Chapter 5

Strange: Almost forgot to post today! ^_^

EDIT: Just fixing some names that somehow didn't make it past my re-reading... *Blushes furiously*

* * *

><p>"Yes!"<p>

"Shoot him, shoot him!"

"No, no, no!"

"Watch out!"

[GAME OVER]

The crowd around me collectively groans. I fill in my name for the high score and press enter. _4th place… Not bad._ I turn to look at the group surrounding me: Chouji, who had raided the kitchen and now held a big bowl of chips; Sasuke and Naruto, who had come in through the front door; Lee, who had as big a crush on Sakura as Naruto; and TenTen, who had dragged Neji over with her.

"Who's next?"

Naruto shoves me out of the way and begins playing _Gorf_. I glance past the crowd and across the room. Ino and Sakura were in the kitchen with Neji's cousin, Hinata, her boyfriend, Kiba, who was desperately trying to look like he didn't want to come over, and their friend Shino, who had an eye condition that always required him to wear sunglasses.

Ino notices me looking and smiles, waving at me to come over. I slip out of the mass of teens, all of whom are now chanting Naruto's name as he blasts through levels – the guy's a master at video games – and shuffle over to the kitchen. Halfway there, Kiba blasts past me, intent on playing one of the _Street Racer_ machines.

"Out of the way, dammit! I'm a man on a mission!" he shouts.

"Just don't lose early on, or you'll never look good," I call back.

Hinata drifts towards me. "Sorry, Shikamaru," she says timidly. "Kiba's a really big fan of racing games." She smiles weakly, then glides over to where Kiba is, currently cursing at the game and mashing buttons. I never did figure out how she managed to walk without… walking.

I shrug and make my way back towards the kitchen. The girls are busy giggling at something Shino just said – _That guy talks?_ – and take a moment to notice me.

Sakura is the first to see me. "Shika!" she exclaims. "You're supposed to be helping me make Sasuke jealous." She grabs my hand and drags me to the dance floor.

She drops my hand suddenly and begins messing with the speaker system. Over by the arcade games, Kiba groans loudly as his machine signals GAME OVER, while Naruto pumps his fists in victory as everyone around him cheers. I look over and see him giving Sasuke a high five.

Behind me, the music turns on.

_I'm feeling sexy and free/_

_Like glitter's raining on me/_

Jessie J. _Shoot me now._ I turn to protest the horrible choice in music – _If you're going to invite guys to a party, at least choose music that doesn't have "glitter" in the first verse_ – and stop myself from speaking. There are not enough words to describe the horror of a 5'4, pink-haired girl in a Chinese dress, doing her version of the Carlton Dance to a pop song.

_You're like a shot of pure gold/_

_I think I'm 'bout to explode/_

Deep down, Sakura really is a nice girl. When she's not obsessing over Sasuke or being obnoxiously rude, she's kind of nice. So seeing her commit social suicide in front of her closest friends like this… it was actually almost painful. As her "date," I can't let her do this to her reputation (plus I'd never hear the end of it from Ino if I didn't help), so I steel myself to join her…

But am beaten to punch by Naruto, who jumps on the floor and begins doing the Humpty Dance. Suddenly, everyone is on the floor doing old dances from the 80s and 90s – the "Running Man," "Da Dip," the "Tootsie Roll…" Kiba is even doing the "Butterfly" to a very still and very red-faced Hinata.

I shrug my shoulders at the insanity. When in Rome…

I walk over to Ino, and together we do the "Macarena."

This insanity lasts for another two songs before Kiba and Naruto both stop mid-dance, sniffing the air. They both stop, look at each other, smile, and race towards the door.

"PIZZA!"

The rest of us walk quickly to the door, worn out from the dancing and very hungry. Ahead, Kiba trips over his own shoelace and knocks Naruto down. The two get into an argument and start throwing fists. Hinata and Rock Lee rush over to break it up while the rest of us just stand there, shaking our heads.

"Honestly," TenTen says, flabbergasted. "Can't you guys go one day without fighting?"

"Apparently not," Neji mutters.

Just then, the doorbell rings. "Oh!" Sakura says, startled. "It's Sai with the pizza!"

Everyone begins shuffling towards the door again – that is, everyone except Kiba, who is getting scolded by Hinata; Naruto, who is being lectured about the "True Meaning of Youth" by Rock Lee; and Sasuke, who is standing there… well, being Sasuke. Up ahead, Shino opens the door.

A stack of pizza boxes with legs stands in the doorway. Chouji moves faster than all of us to help ease the burden. As he moves the boxes away, Sai's colorless face appears, that mock smile of his perfectly painted on. I hang back as the others crowd around, thanking him for the pizza and grabbing slices before heading over to the TV area.

He ignores them and turns towards Sakura. "Why, Ugly, what a lovely dress you have on. It almost makes you look like you have curves."

To her credit, Sakura takes this nicely and giggles back. "Thank you, Sai. That's some very formal wear you have on, too."

Sai looks down at his black Mandarin jacket and pants, and then looks around at everyone else. "Yes," he states calmly, the fake smile still plastered on his face. "But I'm quite surprised that no one else is wearing any Chinese clothing."

Sakura blinks owlishly, confused by the statement. "No," she insists. "This dress is Japanese."

The fake smile drops from Sai's face. As he opens his mouth to respond, Ino steps forward and grabs his hand.

"Oh, Sai," she laughs coquettishly. "You have such a great sense of humor!"

She pulls him away towards the large group, leaving a puzzled Sakura and a very relieved me. _Who knows how she would have handled that?_

I turn towards her and put on my best gentlemanly smile. "Well, shall we join them?"

She giggles and threads her arm through the crook in my elbow, and together, we rejoin the party.

* * *

><p>[OMAKE]<p>

Strange: Boogie down! Alright, all playfulness aside, I'll be making the story more serious soon. No update next week, as I have two big projects I need to work on.

Sai: Are you talking about that essay you should have already been working on?

Strange: *Shakes fist* Why, you... Where's Shikamaru?

Sai: He is... indisposed. I'll be joining you for the next few omakes. *Smiles*

Strange: O... kay... Anyway, please review!

***UNTIL NEXT TIME***


	6. Chapter 6

AN: So, the Naruto manga finally reached its conclusion last week. I'm excited that two of my favorite pairings are canon! (I'll list them at the bottom to avoid spoilers for the anime watchers and those of you who haven't caught up yet.)

Just remember this is an AU/AR, so I won't be following canon pairings so much. ;)

Also, ignore the random periods, the Doc Manager wouldn't let me put blank spaces in.  
>.<p>

* * *

><p>.<br>"Ugh, this is so boring. Couldn't we have picked a movie with sound?" TenTen complains, pulling out one of her twin hair buns and combing her fingers through her auburn hair.

"TenTen, you do not understand," Shino murmurs from his place between Chouji and Neji. "_Nosferatu_ is a classic; one should always strive to—"

"Will you both shut up?" Kiba growls from in front of the TV. "I'm trying to concentrate here!"

"Kiba, what you are saying is incorrect; the reason is because you do not need sound to watch this movie."

TenTen rolls her eyes and leans over towards Hinata. "How do you deal with these two all day?"

Hinata covers her mouth and giggles. Neji snorts. "Hinata is in all Honors classes. She does not need to take remedial classes with lesser people like Kiba and Naruto."

"HEY!" Kiba and Naruto both shout back.

I tune out the rest of their conversation in favor of actually watching the movie. On screen, a man was giving his wife a bouquet of cut flowers. The woman frowned and looked away.

.

["WHY DID YOU KILL ALL OF THOSE FLOWERS?"]

.

Women. Even in movies, you can't please them.

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Sai writing notes in Chinese on a page in a small, black notebook. _Wonder what that's all about…_ I look over at Ino, who sits on a yellow beanbag off to Sai's left. Somehow, she is able to block out all the talking going on around us and enjoy the actual movie. I watch her absentmindedly twirl a curl around her long index finger.

I had only ever seen her hair in that style once before, on a Christmas card her mother had sent out back when we were in middle school. I remember her telling me and Chouji how it had taken hours for the curls to set, and how they had fallen flat shortly after. In my memory, she smiled and tilted her head to the side.

_"__I guess that's what happens when you have pin-straight hair."_

Already, I could see the curls drooping, looking less like ringlets and more like natural curls. I wonder briefly why she had taken the time to curl it when she knew it wouldn't last the whole night.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Sai turn towards me, and then follow my gaze towards Ino. I look away before he can turn fully back to me, but I catch the ghost of a smirk, anyway.

On screen, a bartender warns a traveler about wolves roaming the area. To my left, I hear Ino giggling at something Sai has whispered to her. I consider risking a glance, but to my right, TenTen and Lee begin arguing about the movie.

"I'm telling you, Lee, that's some sort of deformed dog!"

"Fair TenTen, you are as smart as you are you are lovely, but I must disagree with you!" Lee cries, standing up and holding his fists to his heart. "My youthful heart burns with the passionate truth of that being a true werewolf!"

Shino adjusts his glasses. "TenTen, Lee, you are both mistaken. The reason for this is simple: that is a hyena."

I watch the mini-drama play out for a while, shocked that I had heard Shino talk more in one night than I had since meeting him. It helped me keep my focus off the constant giggling and sighing coming from my left.

"Sai, you're so funny!" Ino gushes. "Shika, you should—"

"Gah! Damnit!" Kiba yells from his position in front of the TV. "Don't any of you ever shut up? You talked through the entire first part of the movie!"

Lee and TenTen, fully chastised, sink into their respective beanbag chairs. Shino remains stoic, as if he had never said anything at all.

.

[END ACT I]

.

Thankful for the distraction, I turn to smile at the two on my left. "I think I'll go get us some snacks."

.

.

Sometime before Act III, I fell asleep. When I awaken, the only people left are Sakura, Ino, and Chouji. Chouji is busy cleaning the kitchen (and probably making a few plates of food to take home), Ino is sweeping, and Sakura is working on sorting out the movie collection that had somehow gotten out of order. Acoustic music plays softly in the background.

*Looks like they've got everything covered,* I think to myself before closing my eyes and pretending to still be asleep.

Eventually, Ino finishes sweeping and plops down on the bean bag chair next to mine.

"I know you're awake," she says casually, speaking only loud enough for me to hear.

"Shh," I murmur back, barely peeking one eye open to look at her. She had pulled her hair back into its usual high ponytail, long bangs skating over her left eye and hanging down to her chin. She had also exchanged her white belly shirt for a more modest long-sleeved purple tee that stretched just a little too tightly across her chest, indicating that she must have borrowed it from Sakura.

Her one visible eye rolls in its socket as she scoffs slightly, folding her arms under her chest.

I must take this time to not that while I am wise beyond my years and tend to act like an old man; I am still physically a red-blooded teenage male.

I shift away from her, feigning a sleepy turn. Now Sakura and her amazing crop of coral hair are in my direct line of vision. *Perfect,* I think as my jeans begin to fit comfortably again.

My relief is short lived, however, as my movement catches her attention. Blue-green eyes lock onto brown, and she scrunches her face up in anger before marching over to me and swiftly pounding her fist into my head.

"Asshole!" she screeches. "You're just as lazy as that idiot Naruto!"

I have just enough time to reflect on how Naruto seems to survive blows like these on a near-daily basis before my vision fades and I black out.

.

* * *

><p><strong>WARNING: CANON PAIRING SPOILER<strong>

**.**

**.**

WARNED

.

.

NaruHina and ShikaTema! *Waves banner*

I know, I know, this is a ShikaIno and I paired KibaHina, but really, now, Naruto has belonged to Hinata ever since she first stalked him. And ShikaTema has been in the cards since they first met. You know Temari wanted him! ;D

.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

[OMAKE]

.

Strange: So, where _is_ Shikamaru, anyway?

Sai: Sleeping on the couch over there.

Strange: WHAT? You said he was "indisposed!"

Sai: He is. He has a sign on that reads "If Her Lord Dictatorship asks where I am, tell her I'm indisposed."

Strange: *Gets baseball bat*

.

**See You Next Week**


	7. Chapter 7

[BEEP BEEP BEEP]

"Urrrghhh…"

I roll over, wondering who set the alarm on a Saturday…

And promptly roll off Chouji's couch.

I lay there for a few minutes, trying to decide whether or not the floor was comfortable enough to continue sleeping on. From the kitchen, I can hear Chouji's mom, Chiharu, fretting about the kitchen, finally shutting off the oven alarm. I just about decide the floor is as good as the couch when Mrs. Akimichi's voice rings throughout the house.

"Breakfast!"

The floor shakes as the Akimichi men thunder towards the kitchen. Chouji bounds down the stairs and pauses when he sees me, considering something, before picking me up and carrying me into the kitchen.

"Hey!" I protest. "I was comfy!"

Before I can free myself, I am already seated at the table. Spread out across the floral tablecloth is a banquet of foods, both Western and Japanese.

I look across at Chouji, who has already piled his plate with bacon, eggs, and pancakes, and was currently attempting to make some sort of sandwich out of the three.

"Shikamaru, my boy!" Chōza bellows around a mouthful of natto. "We heard you had a concussion!" He swallows, takes another bite. "Howmmf'urhead?"

"Uh… fine, I guess," I reply lazily. "Don't really remember how I got here, though."

Chiharu tuts around her own mouthful of food. "I told you boys we shouldn't have let him sleep. Now he's got brain damage for sure."

Chōza and Chiharu, like their son, are both large people. Chōza's hair was a fiercely red, shaggy mane, hanging down past his shoulders, much in the same fashion as his son's. Chiharu, on the other hand, wore her straight, black hair close to her head, just long enough to frame her chubby face. Both had the same sunny disposition as Chouji, and Chiharu in particular was known for worrying over every little thing.

Chouji swallows and takes a swig of his orange juice before addressing me. "After you, y'know, _bumped your head on the door_," he emphasized, "Ino fussed at Sakura for _not telling you about the frame hanging so low_. They were still talking when I helped you upstairs and into my car. I thought it might be better for you to stay the night at my place." He offers me a warm smile before he resumes shoveling his food into his mouth.

"Ah… thanks..." I mutter, my face burning from embarrassment. I could understand him making up an excuse if he were telling _my_ parents, but not his. *I'll ask him about it later, I guess…*

The rest of breakfast passes by uneventfully, the Akimichis each taking turns to talk with their mouths full. Chouji tells his parents about the party (nothing that really interested me) and they, in turn, told him about their respective jobs.

Chōza works as the town butcher (yes, our village is small enough to have a butcher) and Chiharu has a part-time job as a dental assistant, so it's rare for the two of them to be in the house at the same time. Chōza's stories were usually pretty tame; who dropped off this cow, maybe an out-of-towner raving about the fairness of his prices. Chiharu's stories were also pretty run-of-the-mill; she couldn't say much because of patient confidentiality, but thanks to her, I now knew that there was an epidemic of cavities among the small children here.

Chōza was telling us about one of the more regular non-villagers that came in, a pale guy with yellow eyes and very long hair that ordered meat several pounds at a time, when my phone suddenly rings. I excuse myself from the table and head into the living room, checking the phone as I go.

A picture of a smiling woman with long, brown hair holding up a toddler-sized me was on the screen. I sigh internally, and then hit "answer."

"Hey, Mom."

"SHIKAMARU!" I wince and hold the phone away from my ear. Yoshino Nara was one woman with zero volume control. "I HEARD YOU HIT YOUR HEAD ON THE DOOR! WHAT HAPPENED? WHY WEREN'T YOU PAYING ATTENTION?"

"Good morning to you, too, Mom. I'm fine, my head only hurts a little."

"DON'T YOU BACK-SASS ME! COME HOME NOW, YOU AND YOUR FATHER ARE GOING TO CLEAN THIS HOUSE FROM BOTTOM TO T—"

"What's that? I can't—you—bad—'nnection—home late—love you guys, bye!" I quickly shut off my phone before she can call back and scream my ear off. Through the living room windows, I could faintly hear Yoshino's voice.

"Shikamaruuuuu…"

Chouji appears in the kitchen doorway. "Hey, uh, I was gonna head to the shopping district with Kiba and Naruto… Want to come?"

"Sure," I reply unenthusiastically, secretly relieved to have an excuse not to face Yoshino's wrath for at least a few more hours. I look down, realizing I still had on my button-up shirt from last night's party. "But do you have a shirt I can borrow?"

* * *

><p>[OMAKE]<p>

Strange: Alright, back to weekly updates! Also… Next week is Thanksgiving! Are you guys excited?

Shikamaru: *Heavily bandaged* Urrrggghhhh…

Naruto: *Bound to a chair and gagged* MRRPH HRMM PHHT!

Sai: *Too busy drawing to answer*

Strange: Me, too! Although, I'm hosting this year, so I'm not looking forward to all that cooking… Anyway! This chapter is another shorter one, I know. But Chouji's family is too cute not to talk about. Besides, Shikamaru needs somewhere to hide when his mom comes after him… ;)

***SEE YOU NEXT WEEK***


	8. Chapter 8

AN: So I personally felt like nothing happened in that last chapter, which is why I'm posting two chapters this week. ^_^

The downside is no omake. Hopefully, the double-post makes up for that. Enjoy!

* * *

><p>"...And I told her, 'Babe, sometimes a man's gotta hang out with his man friends, y'know?' She understands me like that." Kiba grins smugly at us, his hands folded behind his head as he walks.<p>

"Wow, Kiba," Naruto says breathlessly. "You're so lucky to have such a great gal like Hinata who understands a man's needs. But who is this man we're supposed to be hanging out with? Because I only see you."

Chouji and I snort as Kiba stops for the moment, trying to figure out the insult. "I'm getting hungry," Chouji says suddenly. "Let's stop and get something to eat."

"Dude, we just got here. And you ate enough at breakfast to feed five people."

"What? I have a high metabolism."

Naruto runs over and hangs an arm around each of our necks, forcing us to bend down. "I'm hungry, too! I say we head to that ramen shop over there with the cute waitress!"

We look in the direction he's pointing. A bluish-looking building stands not far off from us, the entire front an open stand of stools in front of a counter. The top half of the front was embellished with curtains that read "Ramen is the Best Pleasure." *Wonder what they do when the weather's bad…*

From beneath the curtains, I could see a familiar pair of long legs, clad today in black leggings ending in simple black sandals, leading up to slim thighs and a very nice—

"I don't feel like ramen," Kiba calls out from the other side of me, also hanging his arm on me. *What am I, a coat rack?* "We eat ramen every time we're with you. I need some real food. Where can a guy get some red meat around here?" He makes a point of looking in the exact opposite direction of the ramen stand while trying to turn us around using my neck.

As he and Naruto start bickering about the finer points of ramen, I look back at the stand. I could make out four more people. *Sakura's calf-high boots and pink skirt… That must be Hinata's feet shuffling like that… I'd know TenTen's manly feet anywhere… But who is that other person?* The fifth person, seated between TenTen and Ino, was facing the counter, so all I could see was flat ass and skinny black jeans.

The flap in front of the mystery person opened suddenly as an older couple exited the stand. I had enough time to glimpse a black shirt and pale skin before Chouji spun me around.

"Earth to Shika," he called, waving one meaty hand in front of my face while gripping my shoulder in the other. "You okay there? We're going to go get pizza."

"What? Oh… Uh, no, I'll… I'll catch up later. I'm gonna… uh…" I look down at the oversized tee-shirt hanging off of my thin frame. "I'm gonna go buy a shirt."

...

Before anything else, I needed to find a shirt. Since it was still warm for this time of year, I hadn't bothered with a jacket, but it still wasn't warm enough to warrant taking off Chouji's huge shirt and walking around in my tee, so I would have to run to the shopping district and hope Ino and her group didn't leave in the meantime.

One thing most people assume about me is that because I'm lazy, I can't run. I make it to the shopping district in less than five minutes, taking all the back roads to get there. I find a cheap store and buy a plain, long-sleeved black shirt, stripping off the too-big tee as I make my way back towards the nearest alleyway.

I head back to the ramen stand, moving a little more slowly this time. I get halfway through the second-to-last alley when a shock of pink hair passes by the end I'm headed towards.

"Shit!" I duck behind a trash can, narrowly avoiding detection. I silently count to sixty, listening all the while to the chatter in the streets. I hadn't been able to catch any of Sakura's conversation with whoever she was walking with, but a good deal of what I _could_ hear revolved around a certain neon-haired girl.

I stand up from my hiding spot, brushing the dirt off the back of my pants, and head out of the alley. Thirty yards ahead, I catch a glimpse of unnatural hair color as Sakura heads into a store. I cross to the opposite side of the street and walk nonchalantly down the sidewalk, trying not to look like I was looking at anything.

The store she had entered seemed nice enough. In the display windows, mannequins stood posed just so, each wearing different cold-weather outfits. "The latest in Fall Fashion!" the sign in the window proudly proclaimed.

I walk a little further on, stopping at a comic book store.

*Might as well…*

* * *

><p>***OK THIS TIME SEE YOU NEXT WEEK***<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

AN: One hour early (my time zone, anyway) because I'm 98% certain I'll forget to post tomorrow. ;)

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>30 minutes and $40 later, I emerged from the store, holding the bag with Chouji's shirt in one hand, two of the latest <em>Doctor Who Classic<em> comics tucked under my other arm. *That should have been enough time to shop for clothes,* I think to myself.

I walk back up the street, looking past the mannequins in the window this time, and spotting the now-familiar pink bob, currently bobbing up and down in excitement next to a silvery-blonde head. I stop involuntarily and look directly at the store, dropping my bags.

*No…*

Standing in front of Ino, _my_ Ino, is Sai. He holds Ino's right hand up to his lips, pressing them gently against her pale knuckles before smiling that stupid, shitty grin at her.

I ball my fists together tightly, willing myself to stay calm despite the murderous rage threatening to turn my vision red. *Calm down, Shika… It could mean anything. Sai's weird like that…*

But the look on Ino's face says everything I'm telling myself is wrong. The hand not being molested rests over her open mouth, her eyes watering and shining brightly, even across the street.

I will myself to look away. But my body refuses to listen; I remain hostage, forced to watch as the girl I loved for 10 years nod fiercely at the snake-faced bastard in front of her. My stomach twists sickeningly as she hugs him tightly. He hesitates, then returns the hug. Not soon enough, Ino lets go, smiling and wiping away a tear, before turning to the now-still Sakura.

"Aw, they got together already? I missed it!"

I jolt out of my trance, turning to see TenTen standing nearby, clutching her own bag of comic store paraphernalia and offering me a skewed smile. "Although, I always kind of thought it would be you two to get together. I guess you guys are just too good as friends, eh?"

Before I have a chance to respond, she turns back to the store, raises the arm not held down and waves. I turn numbly back to the shop. Sai stares back for a moment before smiling eerily and waving. I suppress an involuntary shudder and turn away from TenTen, walking towards the closest alley.

"Don't tell Ino I was here."

"Uh... Okay then, I guess…" she calls as I walk away. "I'll see you later?"

...

I walk aimlessly for a while, not really paying much attention to anything and trying hard not to think. I didn't want to think about what had just happened, what might be happening just now, what might continue to happen…

A _snap!_ beneath my foot brings me back to consciousness. I pick up my foot and look at the broken twig I had stepped on. Unthinkingly, I had walked all the way to the edge of town and beyond, into the woods that surrounded it.

*Not surprising… I've always felt at peace here.*

I find a tree with a good view and sit down, leaning against its trunk as I watch the clouds pass. I stay there for a while, watching the sky change from pale blue to navy. The sky had reached a burnt orange by the time I figure I should turn my phone on.

I reach in my pocket, looking tiredly at the screen. I wonder vaguely how many messages I would have from my mom by now. The phone chimes as it turns on, revealing that I have 27 new voicemails and twice as many texts. I scroll through the texts.

Most of them were from Naruto:

[HEY, WE'RE LOOKING FOR YOU]

[DUDE, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?]

[WE MET UP WITH THE GIRLS. K GOT HIS ASS KICKED BY H.]

[TURN YOUR PHONE ON]

One of them was from TenTen:

[Hey, I've got your bags. Weird shirt, but awesome choice in comics! I'll give you the bags at school. We should talk "Who!"]

Neji:

[Don't text my girl. I'll give your bags to Chouji.]

*Possessive bastard.*

I skim over the rest of the texts; mostly from people I don't remember ever giving my number to. I was skimming over a text from Lee, something about running laps around the school on his hands - *Why is he even by the school?* - when my phone rings. A picture of Naruto's face appears on the screen, a cheesy photo of him in his trademark superhero pose. I hit the speaker button.

"Yo."

"SHIKAMARU!" Naruto's garbled voice comes over through the speaker. *Another one who thinks you have to shout into the phone.* "WHERE'D YOU GO?! WE'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU ALL DAY!"

"Chouji knows where to find me."

"CHOUJI, EH?!" I hear muffled sounds as Naruto moves the phone away from his mouth. "Hey, Chouji! Shikamaru says you know where he is! You fat bastard!…What? No, no, I said 'rat,' not 'fat…' Chouji, my man, remember all the good times! NO, PLEASE—" _Click!_

*Huh.*

By now, the sky had turned [purple?], but no stars are out yet. I sigh inwardly, figuring Chouji would come get me eventually. *Might as well make it back to the road.*

I stand up and look around in the twilight, trying to figure which direction the road is in. I had grown up in the woods, so I knew all the tricks to finding my way to where I needed to go.

Suddenly, my cell rings. A picture of me, Ino, and Chouji flashes on the screen.

Last year, when I had gotten my phone, Ino had taken it and added pictures to all the contacts, making hers and Chouji's the same before changing both names to "Best Friend." Right now, I really wish I hadn't been too lazy to change it back. My heart pounds as I hit "answer."

"Hello?" I answer, slightly, breathless.

"We need to talk."

* * *

><p>[OMAKE]<p>

Strange: Now seems like a good time for a cliffhanger! So who will be on the other side of the phone? Chouji? Ino? Some random third person you don't know about?

Shikamaru: My money's on—

Strange: YOU DON'T GET TO GUESS!

Sai: The real question is when do I get to see Ino naked?

Strange: …

Shikamaru: …

Sai: What?

***SEE YOU NEXT WEEK***


	10. Chapter 10

AN: Sorry for the delay, cat knocked over a cup of water on my computer. Lucky for me, I write things out first. ^_^

No omake today. :P

* * *

><p><em>"<em>_Hello?" I answer, slightly, breathless._

_ "__We need to talk."_

My heart drops. "Ino… What's up?"

"The most wonderful thing happened today!" She squeals. "I'm dating Sai! Can you believe it? One of the hottest guys in the school asked _me_ out!" She squeals again.

I fight down a wave of nausea. "That's… wow. But why are you telling me instead of Sakura?"

"She was there when he asked! Besides, I really wanted to talk to my 'little brother' about it." She giggles. "Anyway, I called Chouji about it, and he said I should tell you before someone else did."

"How thoughtful."

"I know. I'm wonderful, aren't I?" Another giggle. "Anyway, I called you like eight times already. I almost didn't call again."

"You could have left a voicemail." *Not like I would have needed it…*

"Yeah, but you wouldn't have listened to it, anyway. Anyway, just listen, okay?"

She goes on for the next five minutes, starting with how Sai had asked for her number last night at the party and continuing all the way through what I had seen earlier. I half-listened, making the appropriate noises to make it seem like I'm actually paying attention, still making my way to the road.

"I can't believe you're being so cool about this," she says suddenly. I jerk to a stop, now paying full attention. "You used to hate Sai," she continues, "and now you're listening to me talk about maybe going on dates with him. Are you feeling okay?"

I swallow past the lump in my throat. I want to tell her the truth; that I don't think he's the right guy for her, that _I'm_ the person she should be with. But I don't want to push her away. The only thing I can do is tell her part of the truth.

"…I just… want you to be happy."

The phone is silent for a moment. "Wow, Shika," she finally responds, voice catching. "That's so sweet of you. You really are my best friend, y'know?"

"That doesn't mean I think he's good enough for you."

She laughs again. "Nobody's good enough for me to you."

I see lights in the distance. *Chouji's truck…* I turn away from the road, knowing exactly where he'd stop. "What can I say? I have high standards."

Another laugh. "Anyway, I've got to go. But I wanted to say… Thank you. For being such a great friend, I mean. You and Chouji are like family to me, and I don't know what I would have done if I'd lost your friendship."

I swallow thickly. "Ino, I will always be there for you. No matter what. You mean the world to me."

She makes a sound, somewhere between a sob and a laugh. "I have the best friends. (_Sniff_) I love you guys."

"I… yeah."

She giggles. "I'll take it. I have to go now. See you at school?"

"Yeah."

_Click!_

I stare at the phone after she hangs up. The background is a picture of me, Ino, Chouji, and Asuma Sarutobi, our old teacher. The backlight turns off, leaving only a reflection of my face.

I wipe my face off on my arm, shove my phone in my pocket, and slouch towards the road.

...

I find Chouji about half a mile down the road, sitting cross-legged in front of the roadside memorial that everyone in school had out together for Sarutobi-san.

Sarutobi-san had been our Boy Scout leader back when we were 12. He'd quit working as a police officer when he lost one of his best friends. He would often bring his class on field trips out in the woods on nature trips. He'd also been the person to teach me how to play several different games, games that actually challenged my mind.

Sensei had been out scouting for another trip when he'd come across a cave where the legendary "Bounty Hunters," Hidan and Kakuzu, were hiding. The duo was wanted in several states for their illegal practices of "catching bounties."

According to the papers, Sensei planted some dynamite at the entrance to the hideout and buried Hidan alive. But Kakuzu hadn't been in the cave. He waited until Sensei made it to the road, and then brutally murdered him, using nothing but a butcher knife. What Kakuzu hadn't known was that Sensei had called in a favor shortly before blowing up the cave entrance. Moments after Sensei was killed, a SWAT team descended upon the area. It took 27 heavy-duty rounds to get past his heavy body armor. The papers had quoted his longtime friend, Kakashi Hatake.

"If we hadn't had to go through all the legal tape, Asuma would still be alive.

I approach Chouji slowly, stopping to lean against a tree on the opposite side of the road. He sniffs once, rubs his face across his sleeve.

"You talk to her?"

"Yeah."

"Everything good?"

"…Yeah."

He sighs loudly, putting his hands on his knees and looking up at the sky."Sensei wouldn't want this."

I shrug my shoulders and look away. "Sensei isn't here."

He stares at the night sky for a few moments, then gets up. "Are you staying at my house?"

"No. Yoshino's mad enough."

He slumps his shoulders. "Door's unlocked."


End file.
